Too Much and Never Enough

I am not a fan of Donald Trump. I have rather strong, unfavourable feelings about the man for a variety of reasons. So why read a book about him? This book intrigued me because it was written by his niece Dr. Mary Trump who has a PhD in clinical psychology and I was interested to hear her take on her infamous uncle, as a family member and professional psychologist.

I listened to the e-audiobook, which Mary Trump narrates herself to moderate success. But while the book bears Donald's mug on the cover, most of the book focuses on Freddie Trump, the author's father and older brother of Donald, who was considered the black sheep in the family. His is a sad story of never measuring up to his mentally abusive father's unrealistic expectations and horrible treatment by his mother and siblings. Hearing the author reveal behind-the-scenes family issues was equally enlightening and sad. 

“Donald, following the lead of my grandfather and with the complicity, silence, and inaction of his siblings, destroyed my father.”

This is a look at the Trump clan, from someone who grew up on the outer edges of the family. And what a highly dysfunctional family it is. Dr. Trump documents the messed up dynamics of her family and also goes into some detail about sketchy business dealings made by her grandfather Fred Sr and Donald. 

What this book highlighted for me was how much influence a parent has upon a child. By seeing how Donald and his siblings were raised, readers will better understand how and why Donald Trump became the man he is - the money and power-hungry sociopath who lacks the ability to empathize and is driven by fear. We see how these behaviours were enabled throughout his life - even into the White House - which only confirmed his misguided view of himself as a competent, well-liked, and successful person. Like father, like son - both Fred Sr. and Donald are the poster children for sociopathy, narcissism, and greed. Donald was Fred Sr's most perfect creation. That is a very scary thought indeed.

“Although frugal, Fred was neither modest nor humble. He had had a propensity for showmanship, and he often trafficked in hyperbole—everything was ‘great,’ ‘fantastic,’ and ‘perfect.’” 

Dr. Trump makes her negative feelings and hurt for her father clear and while I sympathize with Freddie Trump's treatment and applaud the author for defending her father, I went into this book expecting it to focus on the orange ball of narcissistic rage that is Donald Trump. I gained a bit more insight into how he became what he is today and enjoyed the author's psychological assessment of her uncle, but there isn't a lot of groundbreaking info here. I had hoped for more of a page-turner and not a book focused on Freddie Trump, a man I didn't know existed until opening this book.  

My Rating: 3.5 stars

Author: Mary L Trump

Genre: Nonfiction, Biography

Type and Source: unabridged eAudiobook from public library

Run Time: 7 hours, 5 minutes

Narrator: Mary L Trump

Publisher: Simon and Schuster Audio

First Published: July 14, 2020

Opening Line: Much of this book comes from my own memory.

Book Description from GoodReads: In this revelatory, authoritative portrait of Donald J. Trump and the toxic family that made him, Mary L. Trump, a trained clinical psychologist and Donald’s only niece, shines a bright light on the dark history of their family in order to explain how her uncle became the man who now threatens the world’s health, economic security, and social fabric.

Mary Trump spent much of her childhood in her grandparents’ large, imposing house in the heart of Queens, where Donald and his four siblings grew up. She describes a nightmare of traumas, destructive relationships, and a tragic combination of neglect and abuse. She explains how specific events and general family patterns created the damaged man who currently occupies the Oval Office, including the strange and harmful relationship between Fred Trump and his two oldest sons, Fred Jr. and Donald.

A first-hand witness to countless holiday meals and family interactions, Mary brings an incisive wit and unexpected humor to sometimes grim, often confounding family events. She recounts in unsparing detail everything from her uncle Donald’s place in the family spotlight and Ivana’s penchant for re-gifting to her grandmother’s frequent injuries and illnesses and the appalling way Donald, Fred Trump’s favorite son, dismissed and derided him when he began to succumb to Alzheimer’s.

Numerous pundits, armchair psychologists, and journalists have sought to parse Donald J. Trump’s lethal flaws. Mary L. Trump has the education, insight, and intimate familiarity needed to reveal what makes Donald, and the rest of her clan, tick. She alone can recount this fascinating, unnerving saga, not just because of her insider’s perspective but also because she is the only Trump willing to tell the truth about one of the world’s most powerful and dysfunctional families.