Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

Could this book BE more different than what I expected? 

I love the TV show Friends. When it originally aired in the 1990's I was in college and spent every Thursday night with my cousin Sharon watching the funny sextet of friends. I was even given a nickname of one of the characters during my college years. 

I eagerly snagged a library copy of this book and expected Matthew Perry to talk about his childhood in Ottawa, his rise to fame, his addictions and backstage info about his time on Friends. I also expected the memoir to have some humorous bits. But it is not a funny read.

It's actually quite disturbing as he details his decades-long addiction to drugs and alcohol and that despite his celebrity, famous friends/loves and lavish lifestyle, he remained the awkward boy searching for love, respect and meaning in his life. This memoir is raw and alarming and sadly not well written with repetition and a choppy delivery that jumped back and forth in time. As I read, I often forgot it was about the guy who played Chandler Bing because he felt so different from the person I imagined the actor to be in real life. Perry is blunt about his mistakes, struggles and the destruction his body endured due to his addictions, but it will be quite awhile before I can watch Friends without thinking of what Perry was going through at the time or if in certain scenes/seasons he was high or drunk.

I'm sad that Matthew Perry sounds like a self-centred arse who often blamed his choices and addictions on others and the way he spoke about some of the women in his life (Julia Roberts, Jennifer Aniston) was icky at best. The only 'Friend' to add to his memoir was Lisa Kudrow (aka Phebes) who wrote the foreword, but it felt forced, lacked a personal feel and made me wonder if the other Friends have kept their distance from him over the years. 

He talks about his many celebrity connections and roles. And I'll admit that I was interested to know more about his comments about Keanu Reeves that got so much press when the book first came out. But no explanation is given as to why Perry wondered why fellow Canuck Reeves was still alive while River Phoenix had to die. If it was meant as a joke, I didn't get it. 

Matthew Perry is a flawed person who continued to make the same mistakes in life and love. Now at 53 years old, he is lucky to be alive and I am glad he continues to win the daily war with his addictions. I respect the honesty which he told his story, but I didn't enjoy this book or finding out the person behind one of my favourite Friends isn't more like his lovable, flawed and funny character on screen. I will continue to root for him to succeed at his sobriety and will enjoy watching Friends when I need a pick me up.

My Rating: 3 stars

Author: Matthew Perry

Genre: Memoir, Canadian

Type and Source: Hardcover from public library

Publisher: Flatiron Books

First Published: November 1, 2022

Book Description from GoodReads: In an extraordinary story that only he could tell, Matthew Perry takes readers onto the soundstage of the most successful sitcom of all time while opening up about his private struggles with addiction. Candid, self-aware, and told with his trademark humor, Perry vividly details his lifelong battle with the disease and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that shares the most intimate details of the love Perry lost, his darkest days, and his greatest friends.

Unflinchingly honest, moving, and hilarious: this is the book fans have been waiting for.